It's My Blog & I'll Celebrate Me If I Want To
Seeing as Monday is my birthday, I thought I should reflect on the past year as it was quite a HUGE one! For those who know me, writing this post about my birthday is very on-brand as I love to tell people it’s my birthday and to prolong the celebrations as long as possible; my 21st birthday celebrations started with my birthday party at the beginning of September and did not stop until well after my actual birthday, which was three months later… I know it’s extra but, really, what else would you expect?
The year of 21 gave me so much. I graduated from uni, which is something I truly never thought would happen. School was hard for me. I was never the brightest person in the class, I regularly failed tests and I never felt that I belonged at the school that I went to. This spurred me on to prove people wrong, even if I was the only person to think this, I wasn’t going to give Brenda the satisfaction of being right. If I’m honest, I didn’t truly realise the impact that this had had on my confidence and life until I had gone to my counselling sessions and that just made walking across the stage in my cap and gown that much more of a special moment. I hadn’t only done it for me but for my parents, my sister, my family members that always believed in me, both also those who have passed and who are still with us. I’m actually feeling myself well up thinking about it and I’m not about crying in a Starbucks so I’m going to move on.
Another milestone that happened this past year was that I came out. It is so unbelievably liberating to finally be able to say/write this without my chest tightening and worrying that my parents may see this. I am no longer hiding away a part of my life from the people who love me and it feels so good.
I also moved to New York. My three months is almost over and I can’t believe it’s gone so quickly! I don’t want to move out here, I mean I don’t think I could see myself leaving my family and friends and start a new life out here, but I definitely would prefer to have another month-or-so here. There are so many places that I wish I could go back to and there are so many places that I still have left to go! I wish I had gotten more opportunities to shoot while I was out here. Over my time here I have encountered a few hurdles (including a model not turning up to the shoot on Monday and his agent not being able to get ahold of him… I know, the unprofessionalism was on another level!). The past year has taught me a lot too. Coming out taught me that I have the most amazing and supportive people in my life, both blood family and my chosen family. It also taught me that some people who I would once think were my closest friends may only be in my life for a season (and, therefore, a reason). This was really, really hard for me to navigate and I had found it difficult to stop myself from caring but, in turn, made me appreciate those who are still in my life. I hope that the year of 22 is as kind to me as this past year. I'm looking forward to what it has to bring as I will be starting my career and figuring out my life outside of education.